One day in the middle of all that has consumed your life, you realize your exhausted, lost and been burning the candle at both ends. You have nothing left to give anyone. You set out with a plan, but somewhere along the way, the plan over took you. The need to control and do it all, consumed the experience of the actual journey. You’re trying to find your way out of a tunnel without a light, not knowing which direction you’re heading. You volunteer, go to church, host bible study, teach, but no longer know where God is in your life. You’re living in the shadows of who you really are, afraid of showing or being judged for who you really are. Any of this sound familiar?
If any of this sounds familiar, rest assured you’re not alone. This was my reality. I was caught up in this reality of trying to create a perfect world. One where I had a happy marriage that was effortless, a job without stress and substantial income, a large luxurious house, a 5 star dining experience every evening, plenty of time to volunteer, a child who didn’t create messes, and a well behaved dog. A perfect church role model. One day I woke up, broken, not wanting to go on. My pores oozed the stress of trying to keep this reality of mine going. There were disagreements and arguments in my marriage. I worked far too many hours at a thankless job, watching some of life’s smallest creatures pass on and was the sole income provider. Evening meals were an after thought of mostly PB&J. We lived in a house that was moldy, infested and on more occasions than one the windows were stuck open. There was no time to volunteer. My son left a trail of messes behind and the dog was often a co-conspiritor. Nothing in my life was following the plan I had set out to achieve. I was exhausted.
I listened to the weekly messages at church and while I had all intentions of following them I had my own PLAN. A better way of doing it. That day I woke up broken and not wanting to go on, I closed my eyes and cried. I sobbed, UGLY cried. I was lost and scared. Where was God, this magnificent being I heard about every week? The one I sought to know?
That day a miracle happened. I opened my eyes to see God and my army of angels surrounding me with open arms. Sending me waves of love and support. They were there all along, but I thought I needed to fight my battles alone, in the dark. I was afraid of showing people who I really was. I was creating mountains for myself to climb. I’ve been at the bottom and with the support of God and my angels have fought my way back. I’ve been blessed with gifts that are meant to be shared. I’m no longer afraid of judgements or negative words from others. I was perfectly created in the eyes of God and sent to this world to help others find their light. I finally love myself enough to know who I am and where I’m meant to be. And really, no ones judgements or words are harsher than my own.
If you’ve ever been where I’ve been I leave you with this prayer.
My beautiful Angels,
Please surround me and protect me
with your magnificent light, shield my energy
from any negative influences.
Keep my energy pure, clean and at the highest frequency.