Being Present in the Moment

If there is anyone who could slap me across the face and remind me of my priorities in life, it would be my son. It was a particularly crazy time in my life when I felt like I was captain of a rocket ship and going at warp speed. Suddenly, I found myself doing it all or at least trying to juggle all the balls, but in the back of my mind I knew something had to take a back seat. Sadly for me, that person taking the back seat had become my 7 year old son. It’s not that I forgot about him or didn’t love him, but I had shifted my focus from spending time with him to wanting to make sure I provided better for him. I wanted him to live in a bigger house, have the best entertainment, the best child care, the best clothes, and as you can imagine the list goes on. I had this crazy notion that if I worked harder and earned more money then his 7 year old mind would be happy and appreciate all my hard work. Guess what? That never happened.

I woke up early one morning, astonished I didn’t need to hit the snooze button 5 times, like I sometimes do. I quickly reviewed my to-do list and decided I’d make myself a cup of coffee and get started on that list. As I was walking down the stairs, I was surprised to see my son sitting on the couch, already awake. I said, “Oh good, you’re up early. We can make plans for what you want to do with the nanny this week.” We talked about some fun things they might like to do, movies, zoo, museum, park. Heart breakingly, he turned to me and said, “Where’s a mommy and me day? I want to hang out all day with you.” That moment knocked my world off it’s axis. I lost the balance of what was most important in my life. Sure, he enjoyed all the activities and “stuff”, but he wasn’t getting the one thing he truly wanted or needed, my TIME. I was working so hard trying to make sure he had more, when all along I had exactly what he needed. I realize there’s going to come a time when I’m no longer fun or “cool” to hang out with and I won’t have as many opportunities to make memories. I’ll be the one begging him for his time. Tomorrow is not a given and time isn’t unlimited so we need to make the most of the time we have now. I don’t want my son to look back and not have memories with me in them. I certainly don’t want to be so exhausted from work that I can’t make memories.

 That particular week I didn’t have a whole day for a “Mommy and Me Day”, but we were able to make a compromise and have 2 half days. We had a morning date where we had coffee and donuts and played in the park and an afternoon date spent playing at the neighborhood pool. No phones, computers, or other electronics, just US. We ran in the grass, got dirty, saw who could make a bigger splash and just enjoyed each others company. I loved feeling like a kid again, laughing and being a little crazy! It gave me a new perspective and outlook and my son was more than thrilled. I know neither one of us will ever regret the memories we made together.

Here’s how you can me more present in the moment:

1. Ditch the Distraction Give up your phone, computer, or electronics, even if it’s just an hour. You’ll survive. Focus on what’s around you.
2. Just Listen Don’t talk, give your opinion, or think about what you’re going to say next in a conversation. Focus solely on the person you’re having a conversation with. Listen without letting your mind wander to the next topic.
3. Slow Down We feel the need to accomplish everything at once or rush to the next activity. Enjoy the journey.
4. Clear Your Mind Spend some time in meditation to clear the chaos spinning in your mind. Meditation can help with awareness and bring about an inner peace.